Every one loves a cuddly teddy bear--especially the ones that are nice and soft; the kind you just want to spend hours wrapped around. And there is no other bear that can match the comfort and snuggles of Winnie the poo. For hours of ooshy-gushy comfort, simply follow the instructions below as I did Check you bear Jen -- Sorry!)
- Go to the bathroom. Better yet go where ever the hell you want. When you go, though, bring and industrial-strenght garbage bag and make sure to shit your brains out into it. Once completed, tie the bag up nice and tight, and cut away the unused portion.
- Find ann obnoxiously cute teddy bear. Locate its anus and slice a hole into the surrounding area.
- Pull out some of the stuffing; then, take your shit bag and stuff it up into that piece.
- Sew the Teddy back together. If you don't know how to sewfind someone that can. To save hours of unnecessary explaining, make sure not to tell anyone about the pudding secret within the bear. Just tell the seamstress that your little brother ripped the bear apart in some unusual jackoff attempt.
- Now it's time for some serious fun. Winnie the Poois cocked and loaded, and I'm sure you'll have no problem picking out an appropriate relative or ex-girlfriend that would appreciate the unique gift. But before you go and wrap it up for that speacial someone, take note that the shit baggie hidden inside Winnie might decompose over time. The consequences of this action are far too gross to print, so let's just pretend it won't happen. Just remember, no one can turn down a cuddly teddy bear, and Winnie the Poo really says, "I love you,"because it truly is a part of you.
This was from issue 49 of Big Brother another fine mag. (all most as good as BLUNT)