Some people are disgusted with shit and refuse to acknowledge that it is the bodies natural response to food. Yet the resourceful person realizes every log is a gold mine of opportunity--more than just a chance for a laughter filled mission but also a way to accumulate bad karma. Just remember that police can get DNA results from feces, so don’t try anything too crazy, using shit as your centerpiece for trouble.

People who play pool in bars are usually assholes anyway.

1. Get a fake ID or turn the legal age too be able to enter a bar/pub.
2. Go to a sports bar or a tavern with a rugged clientele.
3. Go to the bathroom.
4. Shit in a napkin.
5. Lurk near the pool tables when no one is using them. It helps to go to the establishment at an unpopular drinking time such as 3 in the afternoon.
6. Unfurl the napkin and drop your turd into the corner pocket. If you want to do additional damage, you can grease the length of a pool cue with the non-toxic wipey cloth.
7. Exit rapidly but casually.