Push Butt, Rub Gentle:

1. Find yourself a public washroom that uses air dryers instead of paper towels. This should be easy to locate as more businesses are involving themselves in recycling and water management program.
2. Take a shit. As you wipe your ass, keep one tissue-swipe set aside. Make sure the tissue you set aside is full of shit that matches a rice pudding or malted milk shake consistency. Usually the first cleansing swipe will create the desired effect.
3. When the bathroom is empty, exit the stall and locate the air dryer. Take your pudding goody and spread it alongside the inside rim of the air dryer's nozzle.
4. As you go about